I need some advice before I talk about this with my boyfriend. I’ve been wanting something more out of our sex life. I have always been secretly turned on by the idea of being sexually controlled and restrained.
The thing is, I only want to try dom/sub sex. I do not want him dominating me in such a way that it interferes with our relationship outside of the bedroom. I only want to submit to him sexually. Is this possible?
If I understand correctly, you not only want your boyfriend to approach you as your sexually dominant partner, but you also want him to be convincing in the role from his first attempt. My first question to you would be: Is it fair to ask that much of someone who has had no practical experience and would be approaching you in a way that is not at all typical for him?
In reality, it takes people time and effort to acquire new skills and to utilize them with a reasonable level of confidence. Perhaps given some heart-felt encouragement, and a whole lot of open communication and dialog, you and he will attain a new level of mutual, sexual satisfaction. But I doubt this will come to pass without you both actively working at it, testing his newly learned skills along the way, and learning from each experience so you and he can use that knowledge next time around. To attain success, this my dear, will inevitably be through a team effort.
First, know that, without a doubt, your boyfriend will need to have his curiosity piqued with regard to exploring your sexually submissive side as a dominant partner. He will also need to commit to the learning process and be comfortable enough to experiment with sex and intimacy as your dominant. I do not advise you to try to trick, guilt or pressure him into trying any of this, because if his heart isn’t in it, either you or he (or both of you) will wind up feeling frustrated, or worse yet, feeling like a failure. It will be important for you to remember that your goal here is to find success with regard to sharing mutually fulfilling D/s sex with him, and any lingering image in his mind of you being overly pushy is not going to foster feelings of dominance that will compliment the sexually submissive role you yourself desire to take on, so don’t even think of going there.
As for keeping the D/s dynamic confined to the bedroom, the key is quite simple. Establish and maintain exceptional communication between the two of you. Still, there is no guarantee that he will not be inclined at some point to wish to explore outside of the walls of the bedroom. Discussion of maintaining comfortable boundaries along the way will be key. You both should make it a high priority to remain on the same page, as that is what is needed if you are to head-off a sudden disconnect in your common goals.
So, to answer your question: is it possible? Yes.
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